Yesterday once more

I have been hiding myself again...
my voice have come back...but still not fully recovered..
sick, headache, heart pain, tooth ache, throat no good, not feeling well....
all come in together...

d situpid hing....i think he dunno im so stress up n damn sad..
i said i dun wan to go to the gathering, not feeling well...
tat time im in conference call with bos n he YM me..
but he seems dun understand, tat day is tuesday, gathering is on saturday..
but he said..you not sick till saturday gua...
i said..its true..i aledi sick for 2 weeks...i really dun wan go..
then he said...siang siang got go woh...
he really make me fed up...more more fed up
really wan to use the chair n **bang** him
somemore ask all the frens gather at my house..
situpid...if my mom know im still seing tien siang..
she more nagging....adoi....dun tat situpid hing know that
if gather all ppl at my house im more dunno wat to do
n force to see siang siang......
eventhough im miss him teribbly but if i see him..i will more more more miss him till die

he duno im miss him n with work + study presure have make me fall sick
till 2 weeks still not yet fully recovered..but i still force myself to work
my bos oso pity my voice....but still ask me to do more work..
when im still so miss u...mention his name i oso wanna cry
if i go gathering n have met him...i really scare that i will cry nonstop...

wat happen to me..
i think he did not know tat yesterday i wun show up in gathering..
he call me yesterday...i really shock he have call me..
i aledi put silent mode..as i will know hing call...i dun plan to receive any calls
but is siang siang call me....n really suddenly feel want to cry
as i saw his name 'tien siang' and the photo(me and him) appear on my HP screen..
i dun realise my tears have falling....
when i hear his soft voice....i really 'sob..sob..sob'

my heart so pain...really miss him so much..
really want to hear his voice longer...
touch him n hug him...but i cant do tat now...haih...
wat am i suppose to do...
i really lost myself...

im hiding myself from them and my family nagging...
i sit at the MPH for hours...
and then i go massage...
the massage gal who have similar life with me..but she more cham
she said..wat happen to me...
im getting thin, thin n thin...n whole body so heaty...
yeah....really....feel so sad...tats y...
i after about 2 years...this few weeks...i really cannot tahan..
really so sad..seems like know something will be happen...

do u know tat, my assigment date line is 10 sept but one word i still not yet write..
my exam is on 15th...i really will die soon....
siang siang...really sorry....
i really very love you so much.....
but i will avoid to see you..
as i see you more..i will more sad n will lost myself more terribly...
so sorry... :'(